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Book Review: Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin

Clothes reflect our values.

For me, this is a profound statement because it says that habits reveal what really matters to each of us. It is a sobering thought, when so many people say that they are at the mercy of their bad habits, that they cannot control them, and that they are completely incapable of implementing good habits. We pay attention to values ​​such as good health, self-discipline, punctuality, smart money management, etc. But do our behaviors reflect those values? They often do not. We continue with bad habits, even when we know that such dishonesty can have consequences. Habit management is a dilemma for most of us.

Fortunately, solutions abound in Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin’s engaging book on how we start and maintain good habits. With research findings, personal anecdotes, and astute observations, this book offers an innovative approach to habit management as it takes into account the personality variables that influence how we kick bad habits and stick with good ones.

She calls these variables “trends.” It states that each of us follows one of the four trends when it comes to changing our habits. Trends describe how we meet or resist internal and external expectations.
• Defenders meet internal and external expectations. They adopt new habits with ease. They are motivated by rules, procedures and responsibilities.
• Obligors meet the expectations of others, but tend to resist theirs. They adopt new habits to adapt to others. They are motivated by responsibility and social connection.
• Interrogators meet their own expectations and will meet the expectations of others only if they see a good reason to do so. They are motivated by justice, reason and logic.
• Rebels resist internal and external expectations. They have more trouble changing their habits, but are motivated by feelings of control and autonomy.

Rubin also reminds us that the way we adopt new habits depends on numerous individual characteristics. Some people, for example, are larks (morning people) while others are owls (night people). Larks will do their best to program a new habit, such as exercise, in the morning. An owl might prefer to schedule exercise at the end of the workday.

The four most important strategies for maintaining good habits are follow-through, foundation, scheduling, and accountability.
• Monitoring means measuring progress or keeping track: a log, a journal, or even checkmarks on a calendar. Monitoring makes us aware of the behavior we want to maintain and often serves as a feedback mechanism.
• Foundation refers to the four essential habits of adequate sleep, sufficient movement, proper nutrition, and an orderly environment. Taking care of these basics gives us the energy, stamina, and self-control to tackle other habits, such as those related to work, study, housework, finances, and relationships.
• Scheduling allows us time to implement good habits. Provides structure and ease of decision making.
• Responsibility means that we take advantage of our social tendencies, allowing others to observe our progress. We tend to engage in habits with more consistency when others are involved as co-participants, coaches, mentors, coaches, or sponsors.

Rubin looks at variations in habit maintenance: whether we start a habit gradually or use it thoroughly; if we practice moderation or abstinence in habits like eating carbohydrates or drinking alcohol. She invites us to explore ways to make good habits more convenient and avoid the temptations that lead to recidivism.

It warns us to watch out for loopholes – the excuses we give to loosen up our good habits. For example, the “moral license” loophole gives us permission to do something “bad” because we have been so “good.” Example: “I’ve been so good at meditating, I deserve a day off!” Another is the “concern for others” loophole, in which we break the habit out of consideration for others. Example: “It would hurt my girlfriend’s feelings if I left her to go for a run.”

The chapter on rewards is fascinating. Rubin cites research to show that external rewards are counterproductive in the long run, because people often kick a good habit when they finally receive the reward. If I promise myself a new dress when I lose ten pounds, I could go back to bad eating habits once I get the new dress. It is as if a reward means a stopping point. Instead, Rubin advises that we find, within our habits, intrinsic rewards such as facing a challenge, satisfying curiosity, gaining control, cooperation with others, competition, and recognition.

Habits become stronger when linked to identity as in “I am a reader” or “I am a person who meditates.” Better than before it teaches the advantages of distraction when we are tempted to develop a bad habit. We also learn how to strengthen a new habit by combining it with an existing habit.

Rubin points out that consistency arises from clarity of values ​​(we know why this habit is important) and clarity of action (we know the specific behavior to perform). Ultimately, his message is that cultivating good habits is the way we must live to live up to our values. A valuable message to ponder.

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