Is the monkey holding you back?

As a child, I learned about money by watching my divorced parents. My successful father worked hard, he was thrifty but generous to his family, and he REALLY wanted my sister and I to recognize how important and difficult it was to earn a good living. Meanwhile, my mother spent more than she had, she panicked when money was low (always) and she felt financially powerless.

Naturally, I became a fiercely independent and successful woman with her own financial struggle. I would call it a love-hate thing. I loved having money (I still do) and spent considerable time worrying about what would happen if one day I didn’t have enough. I felt dizzy when I had a lot, and I was very guilty for having it and liking it. Ah, the good old days of stress, guilt, and worry.

Today, as a Certified Trainer, I partner with clients to shift their focus away from their financial doubts and fears and toward their dreams. I see them for who they really are and what they are capable of and I give them the tools to see what I see. They discover and recognize what is really important to them and manage to overcome their usual “obstacles”, financial or otherwise. Together, we design goals and actions that move them forward as they shift their focus to what’s possible. None of the jobs depend on how much money a client has.

So how is your relationship with money? If you’re like most Americans, it’s not a topic you enjoy talking about. You think you should be “better” with money. You often experience doubt, fear, guilt, frustration. Sounds familiar? The great news is that help is here and it is not as difficult and impossible as you think. I promise.

You have dreams of who you would like to be and what you would like to achieve financially, right? Well, all the thoughts of struggle and scarcity are actually telling you something. They’re saying, “Hey! You’re not listening to who you are and what’s important to you.” What you are listening to is Monkey Mind. Dr. Maria Nemeth discusses it in her book, “The Power of Money” and Buddhists use it to describe that disgusting, chatterbox voice in your head that says you’re doing it wrong… it will never be enough… wait, I want that!

Here’s the secret: Monkey Mind only appears when you’re about to move towards what really has meaning to you, its job is to shift your focus towards something safer. (Stay with me here). Let’s say you really want to go back to school, you think about it, and you hear all the reasons why you can’t, right? And that? Usually nothing. Until you spend money on something, start making excuses for why you did it, and the fun turns into guilt, shame, and frustration.

Ready to move on? Okay, take a pen. Write down something you’ve always wanted to do and haven’t done for money. Now write down everything Monkey Mind says when you think about achieving that dream. Do you notice any difference in your energy (high, low, frustrated, happy) when you think about each of your answers? In these two answers lies your power to turn everything around.

Congratulations, you just did a great job! You’ve discovered your dream AND you’ve been brave enough to look at what’s been getting in your way. Now that you clearly see these two perspectives, you can begin to shift your focus to the one that empowers you and takes action to make your dream come true.