9 Questions to Ask Before Marriage to Reduce Your Risk of Divorce

Love with your heart, but think with your mind and keep your eyes open. Love was never meant to be blind and foolish. Let’s take a look at the 9 most important questions to ask before walking down the hall.

1. What does marriage mean to you and your fiancé? This question helps you understand the basic concept that you and your fiancé have of marriage. Being a wife or husband is like being a partner in a start-up company. If both spouses have very different opinions about what this means, the marriage will never be handled effectively.

2. What is marriage like for you and your fiancé? You are deeply in love and have a picture in mind of what marriage will be like in 5, 10 and 25 years or more. Your fiancé also has expectations of what the marriage will be like and how it will work out. These expectations can be quite different, so clarify them up front.

3. Why did you fall in love? This should be clear too, especially when storms and challenges hit. You need to always have this beautiful story to reflect on and help refocus your feelings.

4. What is your purpose in marriage? Getting married is more about what you bring to the relationship than what you can get out of it. There are a very specific set of reasons that make you the best person for your spouse. You need to know how to be yourself and realizing your potential will add tremendous value to your spouse.

5. What is your spouse’s purpose as a partner? No matter how well you think you are together, your spouse also has value to add that will make you a better person.

6. Who are you as a unique person? People get lost in relationships because they lose sight of who they are. You need to take some time to discover who you are before trying to become one with someone else.

7. Who is your fiancé as a different and unique person? In addition to appreciating who you are as a unique person, you should also appreciate the uniqueness of your fiancé.

8. What problems have you already noticed? Love is not blind; love sees the best and minimizes the worst. Love lets you know that problems did not prevent you from falling in love. You still need to acknowledge the problems and bring them to light.

9. What are your expectations for your life? Frustration arises when expectations are not met. In marriage, you are likely to blame your spouse when these are not met. Your life expectancies should be compared to what you and your fiancé agree to for the marriage.

Taking the time to answer these 9 simple questions can save you from the pitfalls that have ruined many couples. Reduce your risk of divorce by spending more time on questions like these and less on questions about the color of bridesmaid dresses, menus, and flowers.