Dealing with self-consciousness and self-doubt in dance

Do you feel self-conscious when you dance? If so, what do you worry about when you dance? If you’re like most of us, then you have a certain level of self-doubt that comes from worrying that others are staring at us while we dance. You probably worry that every step you take will be noticed by someone else. You think that they are watching you to see if you make any mistakes so that they can judge you. Worse yet, you also think that when you do something wrong, everyone notices and talks about it amongst themselves. That sometimes is not the worst. You probably care even more about what your dance partner thinks. Will they leave after dancing with you and talking about how badly you stayed in time, how badly you put your feet or how badly you led / followed? It’s quite easy for these thoughts to cause self-doubt, causing you to become more self-aware. This then makes you imagine even more things that you could be doing wrong so that you then worry more about others and what they think when they see you dance. This is clearly a vicious cycle and will make couples dancing almost impossible to enjoy. In this article I will talk about the danger of this for your dance partner, how you can deal with it.

The biggest problem with worrying about what you might do wrong is that it makes you more likely to do what you’re worried about. You’ve probably been introduced to the concept when someone tells you ‘Don’t think of a pink elephant’. You can’t help but think about it. Everything you put into your head stays there. The word ‘no’ does not prevent it from happening. If you become aware of something that you are worried others will notice you do, then you will think about it and focus on it. This approach will then occupy much of your mind. As he thinks about it more and more, it’s only a matter of time until he actually does. Your brain, according to theory, does not distinguish between positive and negative thoughts. Simply implement what you are thinking so that the doubt leads you, through self-awareness, to actually do what you are worried about doing and what you don’t want to do. This is the main reason for wanting to put an end to doubts and shyness in dance.

One of the best ways to deal with this problem in court dancing is to understand how common it is. The paradox is that because it’s so common, it’s not really worth worrying about. Certainly, there are times when others watch and judge you. These are contests and qualifications. Interestingly, we don’t care so much about value judgment. This is because we do not expect them to make value judgments. They give opinions and comments from experts. We care about others. Just the other people, maybe even our friends. But here is the part that is completely true, but not really appreciated. Everyone else is more concerned about what you think of them and their ability to dance than they are about you. While you worry about what each person thinks of you, they think what everyone else (including you) thinks of them. In a sense, shyness can be incredibly arrogant. In fact, we think that others care about our dance. In truth, they are too self-absorbed. So when you dance, if you start to feel hesitant and shy, remember that no one really cares.