The Cialdini effect: influence, NLP and persuasion
For those of you who don’t know Dr. Robert Cialdini, he is the Regents Professor at Arizona State University.
His books, Influence: the Psychology of Persuasion and Influence: Science and Practice, are the result of years of study of the reasons people comply with requests in business settings. Together they have sold nearly half a million copies in nine languages and consistently rank in the top one percent of books sold on Amazon.com. In the field of influence and persuasion, Dr. Cialdini is the most widely cited social psychologist in the world today.
One of Cialdini’s principles is the Law of Reciprocity.
When a person receives a gift, they generally feel obligated to reciprocate.
The law says that we must try to return in kind what someone else has provided us.
In this article, I will show that you had to use the Law of Reciprocity.
I was recently talking to a waitress at one of my favorite restaurants and we started discussing the tips.
Tips are obviously very important to a waitress, and it was quite apparent that some of the waitresses at this restaurant received better tips than others. It reminded me of the study I read about a few years ago, so I suggested this strategy, which uses reciprocity of the law …
Sweeten the bill!
When a person receives a gift, they generally feel obligated to reciprocate.
David Strohmetz and his colleagues at Monmouth University tested this expectation in two studies.
The first study conducted in Ithaca, New York, found that giving customers fancy chocolates increased tips from 15 percent of the bill to 18 percent of the bill.
The second New Jersey study found that Hershey’s assorted miniature chocolate gifts also increased tips.
When no chocolate was given, the average tip is 19% of the bill.
However, the highest tips were received when the waiter gave diners one piece of chocolate per person and then spontaneously offered them a second piece per person, the average tip was then 23% of the bill.
I’m going out to dinner there next week, I’ll let you know how his advice goes!
The Power Tip on Persuasion Skills
Obviously, not everyone is going to turn around and give everyone they meet a chocolate, however you can use the reciprocity of the law.
Gifts do not need to be physical objects that are exchanged between people. Some of the most valuable gifts a person can give are intangible:
Information
Confidence
Cooperation
Listening
Affected
Joy and attention
These are all valuable gifts …
Be the first to give and it allows you to start having relationships.
According to Cialdini’s work, the reciprocity rule applies, even if the recipient doesn’t like the person who gave the gift.
Most of us find it very unpleasant to be in a state of obligation. Nobody likes to feel indebted and we will gladly return the favor.
According to sociologists and anthropologists, the Law of Reciprocity is one of the basic and most widespread norms of human culture.
Reciprocal arrangements are vital in human social systems, for thousands of years we have been conditioned to feel uncomfortable when we are in debt.
This sense of future obligation makes possible the development of various types of relationships, transactions, and ongoing exchanges that are beneficial to society.
Reciprocity also applies to concessions.
One of the most effective ways to use the reciprocity rule is to start with an extreme request that will surely be rejected, then you can profitably retrieve a request that is too small [the one that was desired all along] which is probably excepted because it appears to be a concession.
How to extend the reciprocity law
If your initial favor is significant, personal, and unexpected, the recipient is much more likely to respond in kind / provide an even greater favor.
Moment one of the greatest gifts of all
I always make sure that I let everyone I meet know that my time is precious …
I’ll give someone a favor … This also kicks off the law of scarcity, but you’ll have to wait until next time for more information on how to use that powerful law …
For more information on Cialdini’s work, I suggest you check out
“Influence: Science and Practice by Robert B. Cialdini
That is all for now